I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

Bought two records on a complete whim, without thinking. I don't own the record player. Maybe I'll go practice later tonight.

Because I'm going to be losing an hour anyway and have so much to do, I'm going to write on xanga. woohoo!

The score for creating a lesson plan still doesn't appear to be up yet. I've turned in the paper work but have nothing to play... perhaps I could go do that now. I sense a fantastic support base in whatever happens here. Ah.

In the general scheme of THINGS. Need to trim back on my social life and create a routine that involves more getting work done. This second semester has been very of whimsy and fun, but I don't want it to come back and bite me in the grades. Because when that happens, then I have low self-esteem and stop hanging out with people, which would leave me with nothing but sleep. And I don't want to be doing that again :P

Yep.

Decided that after I get my degree here, I'll try to get that job back in Rome for a bit before going to grad school. If not Rome, then maybe they can help to set me up somewhere... somewhere warm, hopefully.

Also need to back off the orchestra I think, I may have been too ambitious going in for that. Why don't I just register for th class like a normal person next semester, yeah...

-Alan Alda.

I'm going out for drum major. There is much messness in my mind... so I'm leaving it and going on heart.

There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit.

"Such bad luck," they said sympathetically.

"We'll see," the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses.

"How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed.

"We'll see," replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune.

"We'll see," answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.

"We'll see" said the farmer.

The year in review:

January: Spent New Year's at home in the Philippines, where it is WARM. Sat on the swings in the park and watched the fireworks we could see from there. Traveled to Baguio, rode a horse, got together a studio, took part in the 5 part choir marathon that is the All Choir Concert and got that much closer to everyone I worked with, went to Malaysia and Kuala Lumpur, bonded with siblings over debauchery, got caught, coming to terms with independence and the empowerment and loneliness it brings.

February: HONG KONG. Possibily the greatest, most life changing trip of my life where I realized I can pretty much do anything, people are awesome, and the world is my oyster. Given the chance to work in Rome for year, would have taken it but was not for my age, befriended the music director to that school on Facebook anyway for the future. Went to Donsol and swam with whale sharks. A test in daring, excitement, and how to be small- another enormous high light of my life. Generally a really good month. Life is a song if only we'll sing.

March: First of week of March, I was a choir teacher. Discovered much about the profession and how to be in front of a class room. Also sang my guts out. Would have gone to Jakarta as an emergency accompanist for Leah, but, I didn't think I could do it. Experienced the club scene a little more. Probably reached the height of getting enjoyment out of insanity. Got smooched by a sea lion...

April: More relaxed, more bonding with ISM. Mahler and Margaritas and Yoyos, wrapping up the year. People

May: Organizing the music cabinet. Chilling with Dougy. Made plans for Thailand and started playing duets with Miko.

June: Thailand! Hanging with elephants, hugging tigers, crashing motorcycles, learning Thai, gardening, befriending Canadians at waterfalls, eating fresh tea leaves and mystery pastry, generally being zen and alone and globe trekky and feeling small. Last hangover was the result of a cheap shot of really awful brandy for a friend's birthday. Saw Dougy one last time, followed by seeing Melodie one last time. Miss them both. Left for the states at the end of June, thus ending my time in the Philippines. Now I'm feeling all nostalgic.

July: Pain in the ass to understand everyone's conversations all of a sudden, but nice. Chilled in Ohio. Went to Maryland and saw my friends for the first time in forever. Discovered the quality of my English had greatly declined, but I had great stories, and decidedly fantastic friends. Spent way too much money. Generally quiet, chilling with family in Ohio

August: Discovered Towson, the honors orientation I felt was a pretty good indicator of my social compatibility, excited to be joining. Then I discovered America with my family. Drove to and/or through the following; Ohio, West Virginia, Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Maine, North Carolina, California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, Kentucky, and Indiana. BAND CAMP. Instant family just add earthquakes, hurricanes, traffic cones, and partying. Started my first semester of COLLEGE.

September: band, noodle nights, taco bell, piano, getting busted, public places. Appreciating friends for what they are and never have felt happier.

October: Constant crescendo to awesome. My first surprise birthday party! Blue hair. Risking multiple automobile accidents getting to various concerts. Did the Time Warp.

November: Fostering friendships outside of band. Low brass trip to DC. I still can't believed we pulled that off. Things get interesting around Thanksgiving, reached one of the lowest points of the year, yet am never completely alone.... Thanksgiving break itself is fantastic! Thank you Michelle's family.

December: Rock my finals. Visited by friends and a fantastic time is had by all. Band is over, but I love the people within my building more and more. Made about 3 ginger bread houses. The pain and confusion found in November clears itself up, although in rough way. Fly to Japan to spend the break with my family.

Haven't done much yet, just been hanging out at the house... But I've got the rest of the month now to go adventure, as I should, because now I'm in Japan.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TOP THAT?

Resolutions:
-Retain social and academic vigor!
-Avoid and steel myself against situations that may become something I would never want to talk about.
-Learn to say no
-Get into conducting
-Become more sensitive and more humanitarian.
-Get up earlier and do things
-Do laundry more often
-Write and think more
-Find more adventures
-Go for walks or do any of the above instead of mindlessly browsing the internet. Once you're caught up on 9gag, that's it! Don't go looking for something else.
-Be more involved with my new job
-Swear less

2012. You've got a lot to live up to.